Diagnosing Guido Fawkes

I’ve been reading Guido Fawkes’ blog for a while and today I will attempt to diagnose the condition of being Guido Fawkes. He claims to be a libertarian yet intermittently supports the Conservative Party – a party he has a highly schizophrenic relationship with since they tried to ban all his lovely parties back in the day. Perhaps he supports them out of pragmatism, which is another way of saying, perhaps he supports them because they might win. This would certainly explain why he doesn’t go for the Lib Dems.

As an aside, he is under the delusion – and this is not unique to him – that we currently have a left wing government. Perhaps it is forgiveable gibberish, since I’ve even met a few New Labourites who inexplicably believed themselves to be left wing, but it is undoubtedly a sign of Weak Mental Faculties whoever believes it. Either that or there is something in the water round Westminster way – acid, or perhaps something really strong like DMT.

Meanwhile Guido is against authoritarianism but admits to adopting a ‘tabloid style’ in his postings – a style that has developed over the years largely in order to transmit the crazed authoritarian fantasies of journalists intent on rousing authoritarian tendencies in their readers (ban this, ban that, make a register of them, hang them, throw them out, LOCK EM ALL UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY). The way it works is to bypass any attempt at reason or good argument in favour of SENSATION and RAGE, thus justifying any exercise of power that follows. Guido doesn’t seem to notice the purpose of the style he has adopted, or if he notices he doesn’t care, which makes me wonder how deep his libertarianism runs.

Above all however, his claims to being libertarian are constantly betrayed by his attempts to stay embedded in the Westminster Village, as close to power as he can get. It is clear he gets some strange thrill from being around the movers and shakers, even though according to his philosophy, they should not be moving and shaking at all but should be leaving the moving and shaking up to the people.

Where does this leave us with the diagnosis? the man is so mentally confused, so incoherent in his view of the world and so dedicated to the cause of…whatever it is he feels like this week, that his case is a tough one. However the Sheikh has seen cases like it before. It is a matter of his heart rebelling against his head. Intellectually he wants to be a libertarian, but his heart is infatuated with the idea of power, of being close to power, of power over his readers, of power over the politicians he pretends to despise but secretly wants to be, of power that could one day be his to do with as he wishes. He is a hypocrite of the highest order and plays to a gallery of politics-watchers so inured to hypocrites that they have no idea how to spot one any more.

In short, I diagnose Guido Fawkes with being a cunt. There is no known cure.

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